Let’s slow date this Valentine’s

We live in a fast world. Almost everything happens at lightning speed these days. When we want a quick bite, we don’t have to wait in line. We pick up our phone, order our food, and voila, it’s ready. When we need to purchase an item, we don’t need to drive to the store and “waste” time browsing anymore. All these things just take up too much time. We turn to our phones, and in less than a second, we find variations of the item we are looking for, click the ‘buy now’ button and it’s on its way to our doorstep. What an easy, on-demand world we live in!

This method of shopping, however, does not work well for everything. There are certain things that must be experienced in the real world that require the use of all of our senses.

Take for example the search for someone we have “chemistry” with. There is no shortage of “dating apps” that try to apply the same behaviours of online shopping to our search for a special someone. There is a perceived abundance of available people we could be matched with. We swipe and swipe, occasionally pausing at someone who somehow manages to catch our eye for the extra one to two seconds, and then, we move on, in anticipation for someone “better”. The thrill of pursuing someone is not necessary anymore. There is no need to wonder if he or she is interested in you because there is always someone else. With this mind, can we really find true chemistry using “online shopping”?

We spend more time finding out about high-value products we wish to purchase. The more money something costs, the more time we spend thinking about the item before we make the leap and purchase it. It is, after all, an important investment.

Isn’t finding true chemistry with a special person in our lives an important investment? If so, how can we afford to rely on quick fixes for something that could potentially enrich the rest of our lives? Shouldn’t we invest the time to really discover what the “product” is all about before us?

It appears that there is a new trend emerging. More and more singles are gravitating towards “slow, old-fashioned dating” once again. You know, the type that is counter to the quick-fix mentality. Why? Because they are discovering that most popular quick-fix methods, are, simply put, superficial. Especially if these methods have been used for casual relationships. Sure, there may be temporary euphoria when you are “matched” with someone you just mutually swiped right on. But how would you know if there will be true chemistry in-person? You really do need to be in the same physical space to discover that. And that takes time (by the way, a recent survey by Psychology Today confirms that 53% of people lie on their dating profiles – that’s the equivalent to flipping a coin)!


“Slow dating”, a new trend, allows that – time to discover true chemistry because it is about meeting in-person. Slow dating is not necessarily slow in pace. It is about being thoughtful about what true chemistry means to the individual; what true chemistry looks like (in the short term, and the long term), and where you might find it. It is about giving someone who appears interesting a chance, discovering more about them, and then deciding if there is potential for a meaningful connection. Slow dating is about understanding that you, and the other party, are worth the time and investment and are capable of enriching each other’s lives in the long term. The slow dating trend explains the rise in a new breed of businesses offering activity-based events that encourage offline gatherings throughout North America. After all, humans are meant to be social beings. Secret RSVP is one such offline event experience, designed to allow everyone to discover chemistry secretly.


So… what are you shopping for?