We live in a world of quick fixes. Almost everything happens at lightning speed these days. When we want a quick bite, we don’t want to wait in line. We pick up our phone, order some food, and voila its ready. When we need to shop for something, we don’t need to drive to the store and “waste” our time browsing anymore. All these things just take up too much time. And in less than a second, we find variations of the item we are looking for and we just need to click the buy now button and its ours. What an easy, convenient world we live in!
But this method of shopping does not work well on everything. There are certain things that must be experienced in the real world that use all of our senses.
Take for example the need to find someone we have “chemistry” with. There is no shortage of “dating apps” that try to apply the same aspects from online shopping. They give us a perceived abundance of available people which we could be matched with and this can feel overwhelming! We swipe and swipe, occasionally stopping at someone who somehow manages to catch our eye for the extra one to two seconds, and then, move on, in anticipation for someone “better”. The thrill of pursuing someone is not necessary anymore. There is really no need to wonder if he or she is interested in you because there is abundant choice. There is no need to waste your time to really get to know what makes someone so interesting. With all this mind, can we really find true chemistry this way?
We spend more time finding out about high value products we wish to purchase. The more money something costs, the more time we spend thinking about the item before we make the leap and purchase. It is after all, an important investment.
But isn’t finding true chemistry an important investment? If so, how can we afford to rely on these quick fixes for something that could potentially enrich the rest of our lives? Shouldn’t we take the time to really discover what the “product” is all about before us, instead of looking for a quick hookup?
The good news is, there is a new trend emerging. More and more singles are gravitating towards “slow, old-fashioned dating” once again. You know, the type that is counter to the quick-fix mentality. Why? Because they are discovering that most popular quick-fix methods, are, simply put, empty. Especially if you’ve used it for mere hook-ups. Sure, there may be temporary euphoria when you are “matched” with someone you just mutually swiped right on. But how would you know if there will be true chemistry in-person? You really do need to be in the same physical space to discover that. And you really need time to discover true chemistry – the type that most of us yearn for.
Slow dating allows that –time to discover true chemistry because it is about meeting in-person. Slow dating is not necessarily slow in pace. It’s about being thoughtful about what true chemistry means to you; what true chemistry looks like (in the short term, and the long term), and where you might find it. It’s about giving someone who appears interesting a chance, discovering more about them, and then deciding if there is potential for a meaningful connection. Slow dating is about understanding that you, and the other party, is worth the time and investment in getting to know them because they are potentially a high value product, capable of enriching our life in the long term.
So… what are you shopping for?